last but not least

i am leaving tomorrow morning,
and i wasn't going to post how long i would be gone for,
but i just realized how happy i am that it is not forever.

also, mary jane is my best friend:

"feeding myself with objects chosen solely for their texture
each granola scrapes a little bit of me away
'cause I wanna know what it feels
like to have made an impact on this place
i have had 9 fortune cookies
the first told me I would succeed in business
the second had no fortune
or maybe it was the most realistic fortune of all
sometimes I think the world really does revolve around me
or maybe I revolve around it
since it never seems to me that I’m a part of it
that's why sometimes it hurts too much to try to adapt
as soon as you're used to it
you won't be used to the lack of it
and adapting only means to
attach
and I'm sorry
but that is wrong
and I lied to you back then
because I only had 5 fortune cookies to begin with
and I can't even get past fortune number 2
i don't want my fortune anymore
if I know what it is I know I'll only want to avoid it
is this how it feels
to want to die
i think of you
...
i feel like i should change this every time anything ever happens
because fortune cookie number 3 didn't have a fortune either
and in my haste to check for 4
i think i peaked
and i'm going to regret this in the morning
even more than that other time
but
EXCELLENT TIME FOR DUSTING. START WITH A FEW OLD DREAMS"

see you in five days.