taurine

"runnin' on empty,
ridin' on fumes;
reapin' every rush i can until the brake resumes.

bettin' on losin',
breakin' the rules;
beatin' while the beatin's good without a break for fools."

homogene

"lying on a bed of silk,
whiskey tumbler full of milk,
lying only half-lit, half-awake and full of fame.

have you come to take my photo?
only you and i can know though,
lying still and stony as a statue of my shame."

eye dropsss

i am going to live forever:
because only the good die young.
and i have never been enough
of that.

achez 'n painz

"give me ibuprofen, tylenol;
an advil, please, to slow the fall.
oxycodone, fentanyl,
a bowl of benadryl.

give me codeine, please, or vicodin -
a goddamn fucking aspirin,
i haven't finished hurting yet,
nyquil, percocet."

k DISCLAIMER THO
i am actually fine my head just hurts and my eyes are tired and i've been up for way too long so i thought this was funny i swear to god i am mostly not insane okay? okay.

bahahaha.

a lifetime

some people are just born broken.
there is no fixing them;
there is no restoration.

there is only
learning to be
unbroken at best.

where the worst case scenario
is dying alone and unloved -
and when you are born broken,
you grow accustomed to that anyway.

when you are born broken,
you are alone and unloved
from your first breath to your last.

bolsius

sometimes i light candles and sit in the dark and long for the feeling of the wax on my skin. but we're not allowed to do the things that burn, that hurt. i listen to the same song on repeat and wonder for the life of me why i can't write the way i used to and then i try anyway just to confirm my disappointment. sometimes even when i know what it is that i should be doing and i know how easy it would be to just sit down and fucking do it i still can't start because it's the starting that i find difficult; sometimes i think that if someone could just hand me everything already begun i would do just fine. like how if someone else could have the bravery to just go for him even though i may very well get hurt, maybe i wouldn't get hurt in the end. maybe if i had the courage to just start things i wouldn't have to see them end. but these are all risks i've been programmed to avoid because we're not allowed to do the things that burn, that hurt. sometimes i light candles and sit in the dark and long for the feeling of the wax on my skin.