oopsie

got a cheque in the mail from arbonne today... i reeeeeally haven't been active with it at all so i feel kinda bad. it's nice that i have clients who are continuing to shop with me but god damn it ahaha i probably should have been more involved in that whole thang... derp.

i also got a letter from ontario disability services acknowledging that my application was received on time, which is a relief. i have sort of mixed feelings about it though, truth be told. i've definitely improved since the beginning of the application process, to the point where i'm starting to feel like i could maybe start back into working or something soon. i dunno, there's a lot of guilt kinda stewing in me right now because on the one hand i'm sure there are people out there who need it more than i do, but at the same time i keep trying to tell myself that it's not like a contest or whatever, and the fact is that i do need help. even just the medical coverage would be so awesome because right now the medication i'm on is doing its job but it's upward of like $250 every month... and i'm lucky because my dad has no problem paying it but i know he can't afford it, even though he tries to lie about it. gah.

christmas is going to be less brutal than i thought, but still pretty tight. i told my dad that what i honestly want as a gift from him is money to buy my gifts for everyone else, ahaha. i know he doesn't like not having something under the tree for me, so i told him nice warm socks would be nice too. i have a list of gift ideas for everyone that i think ought to be manageable. i just really hope nobody goes crazy getting me something - looking at YOU, steph >:( - because i know i'm going to feel awful offering what meager gifts i can afford this year. if i'm smart though, i should be alright.

i've had two really bad knots in my back since this weekend. one is sort of above my left shoulderblade and the other is kind of at the top of my left buttock, ahahaha. no idea what i did. tried a new sleeping spot one night but i didn't notice any discomfort then? so i'm almost wondering if, upon returning to my usual sleep spot, that's what did it. who knows.

i've been feeling the itch to get writing again. steph's been plugging away with "haven" and it's been super awesome seeing her make progress with an idea she's sort of been nursing for years. it makes me wonder if i shouldn't maybe start applying myself more seriously to the ideas i've had in the past for different novels. so far, despite the fact that i do like some of the characters and storylines i've come up with, nothing's really striking me as something i really want to throw myself into right now. so maybe i'll try some short story work for now, sort of reboot my blog for that, and at least get the creative juices flowing.

anyway, holy moly, another real-life blog post! two in a row! ahaha that's unusual for me i guess. this one ended up being a lot longer than i intended, but i guess if i'm itching to write then any writing is good enough. goodnight!