really though,

i have no reason to have sex with anyone for the rest of this year.
fuck it.

i don't know why it's taken me as long as it has to realize that every time i have sex it's just another drunken fuck-up that i regret for days afterward even if i enjoy it in the moment.

i don't need to have sex.

i need to start making my actions mean something,
which usually means making them less frequent.
that way, when they do happen,
it's actually significant.

i'm tired of being a throw-away.

for the rest of this year,
i'm just going to be a fucking robot.
i don't have time to get emotionally or physically involved with people,
because i should be doing work.
and school ends in two months,
or less because of ewams,
so.

nothing i do will mean anything,
so i will do nothing.

the end.



... fuck.