the end.

it sounds really bad to say that i get sick of people,
so i'll try to find another way to phrase it.

the only person i am able to spend extended periods of time with without losing my fucking mind is me. and even that is sometimes a stretch. and it's difficult because i have yet to find a person who reacts well to this confession when i'm honest with them.
why do people assume that just because i don't want to be with them every second of the day, i don't like them?

i was explaining to a friend:
i look at every social interaction as the expenditure of energy.
it takes a lot of energy to love or hate someone, which is why i very rarely bother with like or dislike. you are either on my good side or on my bad side or you are nothing. and i tend to spend as little energy as possible on the hate side of things because it's infinitely more expensive and the profit is considerably less.
therefore: as long as i don't NOTHING you, consider yourself fuckin' peachy.

and i tend to think of myself as a fairly straightforward person,
in that most people tend to figure out where they stand with me with very little trouble.

SO,
if everyone could please go the fuck away for the next little bit,
without taking it to heart, because i don't have the time or energy to spend on consolation either,
it would be much appreciated.

if i want to be social,
i will be.