wat

a little while ago i came home with a boy from my residence.
one of my frosh, to be exact.

i don't know if i've ever posted it here,
but i'm vice president of my university residence,
for anyone who doesn't actually know me.
(why are you reading this?)

at the beginning of the year i was on contract to not have any sexual relations with any of the frosh (first years), and for the most part i've just sort of kept that up throughout the year.
most of the frosh are the same age as my little brother, so it just seemed weird anyway.

a little while ago,
a week after my ex and i broke up actually,
i was drunk and essentially determined to bring someone home.
i succeeded, but that person happened to be a frosh from my residence.
cool life choices.

anyway, we got back to my place and basically forwent(?) hooking up because we both wanted pizza, ahahahahaha.
typical.

and we just hung out and talked for the rest of the night,
made out i guess because uhhhhh what,
and then nothing really happened.

huh.

so then a few nights we've hung out since,
but mostly just as a result of being in a big group
and everyone else sort of tapering off near the end of the night
so that the two of us end up together.
never seemed like anything, i guess.
idk.

anyway, after a talk we had last time, just sort of about dating and hooking up at university in general and just about people we knew i guess, i sort of came to the conclusion that i was a "bro", which therefore implies that i was pretty much friendzoned and therefore shit out of luck, although it didn't really bother me, tbh.
better than being super awkward, ahahaha... my usual route.

last night i couldn't sleep.
he texts me at 1 in the morning asking if i'm up,
and then he came to hang out.
until 5 in the morning.

...

wat.

i don't even get it.

nothing happened i guess,
we just sort of talked and watched videos
and he had his head in my lap
and i guess that was it?

i just don't understand, ahaha.
why is it that whenever i think i've been friendzoned and i'm actually okay with it,
the universa has to toss me a curve ball just to confuse me?

i just.
i don't even.
i just don't.

...

wat.