jgehdjd

everyone's in tears over things they can't control
and i don't know how to tell them that i can't be strong for them anymore.

i'm tired.
i'm tired.
i'm tired.

i was ridiculously drunk last night, apparently.
i don't remember a lot of the night, but i do remember
sitting on my bedside watching him cry,
wiping his tears and patting his arm,
giving all the right reassuring
empty murmurs

and thinking about how much i would like
to take a bunch of pills
and crawl into the tub
and let the water run
and go to sleep.

i haven't thought like that in a while.

i'm tired of being strong.
it's all i know how to do, and i know i should feel blessed because of it,
because i wouldn't still be here if i wasn't as strong as i am.

but it's exhausting.
and i don't want to do it anymore.

everyone's in tears over things they can't control.