red lights and power lines

i've always said that i'm terrible at keeping in touch with people, and i know this to be the truth. the difference is that i've never cared before and now i'm finding myself feeling guilty for not trying because i do care this time around.

i miss you all so much.

i've been so exhausted working full-time that i haven't even been finding the time to get on facebook or skype or even check everyone's blog or tumblr like i usually do. even when i did on a regular basis, i never really made a point of actually telling people that hey, i care about what's going on in your life. i keep up with what you have to say because i value every word.

god, i miss you all so much.

i just wanted to apologize because i lumped you all in with so many other people from my past who i never deemed worthy of my time, which in and of itself is probably pretty shallow, but that's always the way it's been. it's hard to change, especially when i myself am experiencing new things, but the fact of the matter is that i have no excuse, no matter how tired or busy i am, because all the friends i have now are so very worth it to me in ways that i have never experienced before.

god, i fucking miss you all so much.

i don't even know if we're as close as i believe in my heart we are sometimes, but i guess that's just common insecurity talking. the fact of the matter is that i really care about you guys and if that means that i have to put myself out on a limb or make you feel weird about it the first go around, that's fine by me because you should know that people think about you and care about you even when it makes you blush or laugh or shrug. i guess what i'm really saying is sorry for not checking my blog and your blog and keeping in touch and just making myself available to you because i feel like for the first time in a long time i really do want to be there for someone, and i feel so blessed that it's really not just someone, it's someones.

god, i fucking miss you all so damn much.

i am so grateful for my experiences, and i fucking love mount allison university.

i can't wait to be home.