i love/hate perfect families.
i always try to remind myself that everyone's experience is different,
but i can't help but laugh when someone says their family is encountering a "problem" and it's like, their parents argued one night and their dad slept on the couch for a day or like their siblings are better/worse than them or like whatever i just don't care, it's like -
christmas season rolls around and honestly
the details aren't worth shit, but suffice it to say that holy god damn,
do i get bitter towards families that are closer to whole.
(which is near fucking everyone.)
like just,
fuck you and your "struggles" that amount to a good fucking day on my end.
and i try to remind myself, i try to say, you know:
everyone is different,
a problem is a problem.
but it's fucking hard sometimes.
and the thing is,
i don't want these other families to stop being wholer than mine,
i know i don't.
and this is where it comes back around,
back around to the same place it always ends up in,
which is me hating myself.
because i can't even be happy for other people,
and fuck if that isn't just the shittiest thing.
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