i can't wait to get my hair done tomorrow,
and then next week i'm getting my nails done with a girl from my work,
and then things will be better.

i want this boy to stop texting me.
bitch i leave in two weeks, i don't have time to listen to you trying to kiss my ass because you fucked up while drunk.
trust me - i care a lot less about your mistakes
than you do.

(i ain't even mad bro.)

i keep having dreams where it's been three weeks into school and i haven't been to a single class.
i always wake up in a cold sweat.

motivation.

when school starts i'd like to

• establish a workout routine
• plan good meals
• arrange my room to my liking
• attend all my classes
• be diligent with reading, studying, and working
• buy nice wines to treat myself on nights in
• become really good friends with myself

i think that last one has a lot more involved;

i'd like to be quieter, i think. i'd like to regain some of the intellect i think i've maybe lost in the process of focusing so heavily on being out there and involved.

really, i wish i was mysterious.

i think maybe if i manage to keep things running okay with school this year i might audition for a play.

it might be nice just playing a chorus role or something if i can get it,

just doing something to feel like i'm not just scraping along.

then again, that seems sort of contradictory.

we'll see.

mostly i think i just want to start feeling like other people think i'm as "grown up" as i feel, which in and of itself is a completely adolescent thought process, ahaha.

i'd also like a taste of not scaring people off, for once.

one of my best friends told me that when she first met me she thought i was absolutely crazy.

i'd like to change that first impression.

two weeks.

two weeks.

two weeks.