cigarettes

"this is the last one,"
she says as she's breathing it in.
"i'm quitting tomorrow," she said yesterday,
but today she is starting again.

and all i can see is a boy made of bones
wetting skin thin as paper, his eyes hard as stones
and he's locked in the bathroom, gagging and shaking,
and she's smoking cigarettes and my heart is breaking.

"it's hard when you crave it,"
she says as she sets one alight.
"i'm quitting tomorrow," she says every day,
and there's no point in starting that fight.

but all i can see is a boy fearing death
trying hard not to sob 'cause he needs every breath
and he's under the covers, empty and aching,
and she's smoking cigarettes and my heart is breaking.

"it's not such a problem,"
she says as she exhales the smoke
"i'm quitting tomorrow," i don't hear her say,
like she's given up telling that joke.

all i can see is a boy of eighteen
with a face made of angles and sickness and green
and he's shut in the basement, quiet and quaking,
and she's smoking cigarettes,

she's smoking fucking cigarettes,

and i'm to believe
if he can get through the chills
if he can suffer the night
without taking those pills

if he can fight to be clean
without giving up yet
that she can't say no
to a damn cigarette?

"this is the last one,"
she says as she's breathing it in.
"i'm quitting tomorrow," she said yesterday,
but today she is starting again.

and all i can see is a boy i once knew
who i loved all my life, as i watched and he grew
and now he cries over lines that he can't stop from taking,
and she's smoking cigarettes and my heart is breaking.

---

i guess i couldn't put quotations around these like i usually do,
since i used them in the lyrics.

derp.