thank you

[9:39:30 PM] kevin thomas mitchell: fun? lol

[9:39:37 PM] Samantha Hogan: no, actually
[9:39:44 PM] Samantha Hogan: i actually want to die
[9:39:51 PM] Samantha Hogan: i'm so tired of everything being this fucking cheap
[9:39:53 PM] Samantha Hogan: i'm so fucking done

[9:39:55 PM] kevin thomas mitchell: then tell him no? and no u dont, dont be stupid
[9:40:16 PM] kevin thomas mitchell: u just need to exercise ur ability to say no lol

[9:40:16 PM] Samantha Hogan: i'm just exhausted. it's too fucking hard.
[9:40:30 PM] Samantha Hogan: i do say no. more often than not, it gets ignored.
[9:40:43 PM] Samantha Hogan: i've been told multiple times "you don't mean that" when i tell guys i don't want to hook up

[9:40:44 PM] kevin thomas mitchell: then hurt someone

[9:40:55 PM] Samantha Hogan: oh okay good. glad they know what i want apparently better than i do

[9:41:12 PM] kevin thomas mitchell: dont let them come back with u

[9:41:20 PM] Samantha Hogan: after all, i'm not a human being, i'm just a fucking vessel into which people store their fucking dicks

[9:41:41 PM] kevin thomas mitchell: k calm down please

[9:41:45 PM] Samantha Hogan: how the fuck am i supposed to walk home alone when that thought alone scares me, and all i want is to be able to walk home with someone and not feel like i'm obligated to fuck them for it
[9:42:02 PM] Samantha Hogan: and i ended up sitting in my room apologizing for NOT having sex with him
[9:42:10 PM] Samantha Hogan: which like, great, yeah, because i owed him that or something, wtf
[9:42:15 PM] Samantha Hogan: i'm tired of feeling worthless
[9:42:17 PM] Samantha Hogan: i'm tired.

[9:42:21 PM] kevin thomas mitchell: well at least u didnt have sex with him, and ur not worthless

[9:42:34 PM] Samantha Hogan: oh right, sorry. i'm good for sex.
[9:42:37 PM] Samantha Hogan: correction.

[9:42:56 PM] kevin thomas mitchell: u need to calm down ur in university where most people are only looking for sex
[9:42:58 PM] kevin thomas mitchell: it will change

[9:43:07 PM] Samantha Hogan: that's what people said about high school
[9:43:12 PM] Samantha Hogan: i'm pretty sure the common factor here is me
[9:43:21 PM] Samantha Hogan: it doesn't matter where i am. i need to stop using that as an excuse.

[9:43:23 PM] kevin thomas mitchell: and if they told it about university they they are fucking idiots

[9:43:44 PM] Samantha Hogan: the fact of the matter is, i am not worth people taking the time to do anything more than get off and leave me.
[9:43:51 PM] Samantha Hogan: if i was, it would have happened by now.
[9:43:52 PM] Samantha Hogan: voila.

[9:44:16 PM] kevin thomas mitchell: ur 19, ur young as fuck

[9:44:37 PM] Samantha Hogan: yeah, and i'm already fucking exhausted with the effort of trying to MATTER TO ANYONE
[9:44:37 PM] Samantha Hogan: EVER

[9:44:58 PM] kevin thomas mitchell: u cant make it happen sam it has to come with the right guy

[9:45:06 PM] Samantha Hogan: or the right girl
[9:45:10 PM] Samantha Hogan: and i am not that.



for letting me bear my soul
instead of bearing my body.