i hate it here

the only thing that makes me happy is the kitchen table in a green dining room
in a house whose doors are never locked
and whose belongings and occupants are strewn about the place
like they know that they belong
wherever they choose to belong

in all the crevices they want to hide in,
they are always welcome.

i love my kitten more than anything in the world
which is why i have to give her away.
(that and the fact that my landlord wants her gone by august 1st)

great.

i'm so tired of lying through my teeth and telling people i will miss them
when i inevitably will not

i have the memory of a goldfish

but i am a siamese fighting fish, in reality
i just want to kill all the others like me
and even those who are completely different

but most of all, i want to kill myself
like when i put the mirror beside rainbow's bowl when i was little
and he attacked his reflection until he was dead
fishy blood in the water of the bowl
from having smashed his fishy skull in
on the glass

rifp
(rest in fishy peace)

i just want to hear some bones break
and a voice cry out in pain
(one that is not my own, for once)

i'm so sick of being part of a tree with no branches.














FUCK.