it's the bpd talking

i hate everyone.

people i care about care about someone else more than they care about me and people i rely on rely on me more than i can bear and people i want (and convince myself that it's just want and not anything more along the lines of need) don't want me in the same way, or at least aren't willing to put their asses on the line the same way i do every time, even though i know it doesn't work and it's going to put me in the same fucking gutter i find myself in every time i try this shit.

honestly, chances are i'm overreacting about everything else,
because of this boy.

he's so cute.

and i'm so not.

and for a while there i thought i had that under control, but now i know i really don't, because i'm sorry but in my timeline, a week is too long and by the time you're ready i won't be. sorry, but i seem to grow up about four times as fast as everyone else and in order for this to work you have to move at my pace.
which, inevitably, leads me to the gutter.

ahhhh.

how do you get your mind out of the gutter when the rest of you is there too?

my lord.

he's so cute.