cranberries

today i decided
i give up

i just want to watch without having to participate
which is hard to believe since i am never on the sidelines
but there you have it

i am tired
and i feel like i weigh 2000 lbs and yet
someone could still snap me like a twig

maybe if i could just end it in a way that i could still watch over things,
you know?

i wish i believed in heaven,
because yes, i'm pretty sure that is what i'm describing.