you have to want it

my words are becoming shallower and shallower,
because i can't find the heart to make you believe in them anymore.

and while you're on the back porch monologuing your self-pity,
i am in my room, listening to every word
and trying not to breathe.

i don't have to try very hard.

i lie awake during the night
and i hear your music buzzing through the vents.
and you lie awake during the day
and hear nothing at all while the rest of us are out in the world.

i ache
watching you be alone.

there is nothing i can offer
that is enough anymore.

we're caught in a vice:
because if i choose to believe in you,
then you'll give up on yourself.
and if i give up on you,
there's no telling what you'll choose to believe in.

injected religion.

we are fast approaching the place
where "i love you" amounts to nothing at all.