i'm just gonna say this, and maybe i'll get slammed for it,
fuck being politically correct.
there's the usual shit, like not using "gay" in a derogatory manner,
fine, alright, yeah. that makes sense to me,
because gay still means homosexual.
but fuck the "stop using retard" shit.
retard does not mean mentally challenged,
or mentally handicapped or mentally disabled or
"intellectually challenged",
or whatever the fuck you're allowed to call it now.
retard means fucking idiot.
retard means fucking moron,
which in case you didn't know, also used to be a way to refer to the "challenged",
but we're still allowed to use it.
i'm depressed and i have a personality disorder,
so, uh,
don't use crazy around me.
don't misuse the term "depression", because, uh,
unless you've been diagnosed, you don't have it.
NO.
I AM NOT A PRETENTIOUS ASSHOLE.
YOU MAY USE YOUR WORDS AROUND ME BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT THEY ARE.
WORDS.
AND I WILL NOT TAKE THEM AWAY FROM YOU.
so merry fucking christmas, god bless you, happy kwanza, fucking praise allah,
and fuck yourself right off.
5.24.2011
oh wow
haven't taken my meds since friday morning.
didn't even realize it though until i almost started crying
watching a boston pizza commercial.
ahahahahahahahahaha.
didn't even realize it though until i almost started crying
watching a boston pizza commercial.
ahahahahahahahahaha.
5.19.2011
oh dear lord
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha,
i have spent the last hour on the phone with customers and agents who, by the end of the conversation, either figured out that i was new
or thought i was a complete idiot.
but on the bright side,
everyone in the office thinks i'm really funny
and is inexplicably impressed with how fast i type with two fingers.
it's actually become a spectacle:
people go around the office telling other people about it,
and then they come to see it for themselves.
only the girls smoke here.
weird.
i keep fucking up the difference between domestic and international.
DERP, ah well.
other than that, i still really like it here.
i joined the women's volleyball team for the company too.
we're playing at a charity event next weekend.
i'm excited.
i have spent the last hour on the phone with customers and agents who, by the end of the conversation, either figured out that i was new
or thought i was a complete idiot.
but on the bright side,
everyone in the office thinks i'm really funny
and is inexplicably impressed with how fast i type with two fingers.
it's actually become a spectacle:
people go around the office telling other people about it,
and then they come to see it for themselves.
only the girls smoke here.
weird.
i keep fucking up the difference between domestic and international.
DERP, ah well.
other than that, i still really like it here.
i joined the women's volleyball team for the company too.
we're playing at a charity event next weekend.
i'm excited.
5.17.2011
competence
i really like this job, so far.
i mean, it's only day two, but that still must be a good sign, right?
i want to make sure that they're keeping me here because i fit,
and not just because they work with my dad.
i'm getting pretty good with reception.
the different rings still throw me off a little though,
and i really ought to learn the extensions.
i like it here.
but i need to pee.
i mean, it's only day two, but that still must be a good sign, right?
i want to make sure that they're keeping me here because i fit,
and not just because they work with my dad.
i'm getting pretty good with reception.
the different rings still throw me off a little though,
and i really ought to learn the extensions.
i like it here.
but i need to pee.
5.16.2011
5.14.2011
an excuse
all my knowledge, torn asunder,
making room for things beyond.
i watch as, froze in fear and wonder,
the world i knew, it withers; gone.
making room for things beyond.
i watch as, froze in fear and wonder,
the world i knew, it withers; gone.
vernors
the fact of the matter is,
if you want to kill yourself, you will kill yourself.
and if you want to get help, you will get help.
i am so tired of hearing people talk about how depressed they are.
bitch, you'd better have been diagnosed with that shit, because if you're just throwing around a medical term like that, you ought to get slapped.
you are not depressed. you are sad, and it is natural.
man the fuck up about it.
even thinking about suicide is natural.
you should wonder what it feels like to die. to think about death is to contemplate the unknown and embrace its inevitability, so as not to fear it like we do so often.
thinking about death can be utterly beautiful.
but what it boils down to is that if you really wanted to die, you would fucking do it. it's like anything else in life.
if you want it bad enough, you will do what you must to get it.
period.
and fuck you,
i'm allowed to say this.
i've been there.
and what it comes down to, really, in the end, for me
is that i wanted people to think that i meant it.
and i didn't.
because let's face it,
i had looked up how many pills it would have taken to kill me.
and when the ambulance worker asked me how many i took,
all i said was, "not enough."
and it was the truth.
this is what it means to keep living.
this is what it means to grow up.
i can admit that now.
i didn't want to die.
if you want to kill yourself, you will kill yourself.
and if you want to get help, you will get help.
i am so tired of hearing people talk about how depressed they are.
bitch, you'd better have been diagnosed with that shit, because if you're just throwing around a medical term like that, you ought to get slapped.
you are not depressed. you are sad, and it is natural.
man the fuck up about it.
even thinking about suicide is natural.
you should wonder what it feels like to die. to think about death is to contemplate the unknown and embrace its inevitability, so as not to fear it like we do so often.
thinking about death can be utterly beautiful.
but what it boils down to is that if you really wanted to die, you would fucking do it. it's like anything else in life.
if you want it bad enough, you will do what you must to get it.
period.
and fuck you,
i'm allowed to say this.
i've been there.
and what it comes down to, really, in the end, for me
is that i wanted people to think that i meant it.
and i didn't.
because let's face it,
i had looked up how many pills it would have taken to kill me.
and when the ambulance worker asked me how many i took,
all i said was, "not enough."
and it was the truth.
this is what it means to keep living.
this is what it means to grow up.
i can admit that now.
i didn't want to die.
5.05.2011
twenty-two
i'm peeling, and bored,
and a little bit sad.
and for that last bit:
no, i don't know why.
dinner time,
shower time,
anything but
me time.
and a little bit sad.
and for that last bit:
no, i don't know why.
dinner time,
shower time,
anything but
me time.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)