watch out, world

i am learning sign language.

so even the deaf can hear me roar.

go station bathrooms

i read graffiti.

"just got kicked out of my house. :(
...
two weeks later:
nah, everything worked out"

and below it:

"hey, you know what? shit always works out."

(there was also a drawing of a yeti who was apparently there to watch you pee, but it was significantly less inspirational.)

on the downside:
i have yet to find a toilet seat in toronto that is not already moist when i sit on it.
yeah.

scoooooby doo

you know how they say that animals know when there's something wrong?
my cat has been following me around since i got home... i didn't know anything was wrong, but hey, why ignore the signs, right?
and yes, i checked his food dish.

(is it sad that i would sooner assume that he is hungry than assume that he loves me?)

by the way, please don't tell anyone about this (after all, it's only the internet), but my heart is beating faster than it has in days,
not including yesterday,
which doesn't count
(seeing as how it's not included).

i can't even punch in numbers on a keypad right.
1:38

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

and they burst anyway, so fuck fixing that one.

i keep seeing shadows in corners when i am most definitely alone.

...

i am most definitely alone.

stuck for words

"i WILL save you!"
"I DON'T WANT TO BE SAVED."

...

"i see no savior here."

ha

you don't get it at all, do you?

that was the only opportunity.

the only time
that i will ever be that vulnerable.

and you don't get it.

i know you love her.

but for one second, i didn't care.

and that's when you hurt me the most.

(these are the repercussions of not caring:
i asked for it i asked for it i asked for it)

done

one step at a time,
i am getting closer.

thankkk everything that ever was
for perseverence.

stiletto

the degree to which i have somehow managed to be sunburnt is absolutely astounding.

i am pale as a ghost,
but i guess if i'm still getting burnt,
i'm not there yet.

... trying to dress up nicely when you're red as a cherry is a difficult task indeed.

i continue to impress myself
in all the wrong ways.

ban

"i just don't want to run out of gas."
i am running out of gas.

do you even read this anymore?

i get heavier every day, and still more fragile.
i want to break. i have before, and let me tell you:
it was glorious.

oh please oh please oh please oh please -

11:12.

all you need is love

all you need is love

all you need is love, love

love is all you need.